Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Marriage stats to mull over

We live in a world of statistics -- to paraphrase Father Gerry, everyone is a statistic, it's a matter of which stat you choose to be (you can choose to have a successful or unsuccessful marriage, for example). Roaming the Web, we found a bunch of marriage statistics that may be useful for future talks, or just for general discussion. (click the links for the full stories):

The number of Catholic marriages celebrated yearly in the United States plummeted more than 50 percent during the last four decades, paralleling a similar drop in the nation’s overall marriage rate. The dropoffs occurred at the same time that population – both general population and Catholic population – continued to rise.

Later marriage, growing acceptance of cohabitation and out-of-wedlock births, and a diminished sense of religious identity are all possible factors in the decline in Catholic marriages that U.S. dioceses report.

U.S. Catholic dioceses reported 426,000 Catholic marriages in 1970 but only about 212,000 in 2006, a decline of 214,000. In these years, there also was a 50 percent drop in the number of marriages annually per 1,000 adult American women.

As Catholic marriage in the United States headed down, Catholic population headed up. While the number of marriages yearly was falling by more than 200,000 in four decades, the number of Catholics increased more than 19 million, from 48 million in 1970 to 67 million last year.

In Ireland, couples are delaying marriage until later into their 30s and more are having civil marriages, according to the latest figures released by the Central Statistics Office yesterday.

In 2005, Mr and Mrs Average were 33 years old and 31 years old respectively when they took their marriage vows, compared to 1996, when their ages were 30 and 28.

Slightly more than 64 percent of men and almost half of women getting married were over 30 in 2005. The oldest brides and grooms in Ireland were living in the DĂșn Laoghaire-Rathdown area. There, the average groom was almost 35 years old and the average bride was 32 1/2.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Questions for Interfaith couples

The Cincinnati Enquirer profiled an interfaith couple (she's Lutheran, he's Jewish) who have been married 31 years. A sidebar to the article posts these questions for interfaith couples:

Experts say it's important for interfaith couples who are considering marriage to open up and talk about deeply personal issues. These questions, from the Dovetail Institute for Interfaith Family Resources, are designed to start such discussions.
  • What are your goals in life?
  • What values do you hold most dear?
  • What about your partner do you cherish, and why?
  • What is important about your religion?
  • Describe your image of God.
  • Do you and your family agree on your religious beliefs?
  • What do you know about your partner's religion? What do you disagree with or find unacceptable?
  • What role does prayer play in your life?

The dark side of the wedding industry

Check out this great article from the Philadelphia Inquirer, which profiles a new book by Rebecca Mead that sheds some light on the $16 billion wedding industry.

From the article:
Why, she wonders, are Americans willing to spend seven and half months salary for a wedding day that lasts roughly 5 1/2 hours?

Can it be we imagine a link between the amount of money spent on the wedding and the potential for success of the marriage?

Wherever would we get that idea?

From Brides, Modern Bride or Elegant Bride magazines? Or from wedding planners, bridal salons, photographers, videographers, caterers, florists or hundreds of imaginative niche entrepreneurs who promise perfection?

"The most significant thing the wedding industry is selling is fantasy," she writes, "about the wedding day itself and the marriage that follows it.

"The foremost product peddled is the notion that a wedding, if done right, will herald a similarly flawless marriage."

Monday, May 21, 2007

Prayer for Working Moms

Our parish bulletin yesterday offered a lovely prayer, On Being a Working Mom. Now, all moms are working moms in our opinion, but this addresses those who also work outside the home:

"Dear God, I never realized what ‘having it all’ meant. Thank you for my job that helps provide for my family. I know that I am blessed and others have so much less. I pray for the energy to be a good mother and to hold down a job as well. I pray for my family to stay healthy and safe. I pray for the patience and understanding to juggle the needs of family and work and to know where my true priorities lie."

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Marriage prep as a comedy?

On July 4 there's a new movie coming called "License to Wed," a comedy about a young couple (John Krasinksi from 'The Office' and Mandy Moore) that wants to get married, but first they have to "pass" a "marriage preparation course" given by Rev. Frank (played by Robin Williams).

Watch the trailer:



It's intriguing that Hollywood is taking an interest in marriage preparation as a plot for a movie. While some of the items seem to be played for laughs (like the "no sex before marriage? I thought that was after the wedding" joke), at least they're getting some of the concepts right (like being able to communicate effectively, although we don't suggest putting your fiance into a car and have her drive blindfolded).

Of course, anything that Robin Williams does will be played for laughs, but I'm hoping that this movie helps increase visibility around marriage preparation programs instead of just making fun of it. Maybe we should have a field trip around July 4 to catch the movie for further discussion.

What do you think? Does this movie help or mock marriage prep?

Welcome to the EE Teamablog

Welcome to the first post of the EE Teamablog, a spot where we discuss the current state of marriage in society, view the media's portrayal of marriage through the Engaged Encounter lens, and have some fun as well. This blog is written by members of the Boston Engaged Encounter community.

If you're a member of any Engaged Encounter community, have attended an EE weekend or are about to attend a weekend, please feel free to stop by on occasion, add a comment or just say hi. If you're a supporter of faith-based and sacramental marriage, you are also welcome here.

We're not here to get political, there are plenty of other marriage sites and blogs out there if you're looking for that.