Some Protestants find spiritual appeal in natural family planning

"The Taylors are one of several couples at Hope Chapel — a nondenominational church where David Taylor, 36, was the arts minister for 12 years — who practice natural family planning. Christian scholars say they may reflect a growing trend among non-Catholic Christians who are increasingly seeking out natural alternatives to artificial contraception."

Full story

'Happily Never After': New Study Reveals TV Favors Non-Marital Sex

"The Parents Television Council™ released a new study, Happily Never After: How Hollywood Favors Adultery and Promiscuity Over Marital Intimacy on Prime Time Broadcast Television, which revealed that broadcast networks depict sex in the context of marriage as either non-existent or burdensome while showing positive depictions of extra-marital or adulterous sexual relationships with alarming frequency.

"Across the broadcast networks, the new PTC report found that verbal references to non-marital sex outnumbered references to sex in the context of marriage by nearly 3 to 1, and scenes depicting or implying sex between non-married partners outnumbered similar scenes between married couples by a ratio of nearly 4 to 1.

“These study results suggest that many in Hollywood are actively seeking to undermine marriage by consistently showing it in a negative manner. Even more troubling than the marginalization of marriage and glorification of non-marital sex on television is TV’s recent obsession with outré sexual expression. Children and teens are now exposed to a host of sexual behaviors that less than a generation ago would have been considered off-limits for broadcast television,” said PTC President Tim Winter."

Full story

Secrets Of A Happy Catholic Marriage

"It seems that no matter what happens during the week, whether it includes limbs being sprained and finances being strained, hopes being dashed and china being smashed, getting to Sunday Mass is the solution...

"The beauty of placing the Catholic faith at the heart of your marriage is this: You would no more consider leaving your spouse when things go wrong than you would turn your back on Christ. And in truth, the secret of a happy marriage really is that simple."

Great column

On 40th anniversary, 'Humanae Vitae' gains more attention in U.S.

" 'Humanae Vitae' ("Of Human Life"), Pope Paul VI's encyclical on artificial contraception and the role of procreation in marriage, turns 40 July 25 and seems to be finding new life across the country.

From natural family planning initiatives to sexual abstinence programs for teenagers, parishes and dioceses are increasingly adopting Pope Paul's vision for a world built on fidelity in marriage and the love shared by husband and wife as the cornerstone of a stable world.

While the 7,000-word encyclical -- which upholds the Church's long-standing prohibition on artificial contraception -- is rarely addressed from the pulpit, ministries that seek to head off teen sex, cohabitation, high rates of divorce and single parenthood are sprouting in the hope of delivering a positive message on human sexuality."

The story also has a short graphic featuring the highlights of HV.

Full story

Married couples who play together stay together

"Most couples know their marriages are happier when they make time to have fun. But often it's the fun that's first to fall by the wayside as demands pile up, especially in a trying economy when couples often work long hours or hold down more than one job.

Now research from the University of Denver supports the idea that finding moments to be together free of financial, family or other stresses — just to have fun together — is not an indulgence."

Full story

Impact of divorce lasts for decades

"The emotional and social impacts of divorce are felt for decades after a marriage breaks down, leaving a generation of older Australians vulnerable to loneliness and poor health.

A new study into the wellbeing of Australians aged between 55 and 74 - the first generation to experience divorce at high rates - found divorcees felt more socially isolated and less satisfied with life compared with married men and women."

Full story

Church Attendance Key to Marriage Success, Researcher Says

"Married couples who attend church services frequently are happier and more likely to succeed in their marriages than those who don’t attend church often or not at all, according to a recent study.

'[R]esearch suggests that not only do churchgoing husbands enjoy happier marriages but also that their wives are more likely to experience marital happiness, compared to married couples where husbands do not attend religious services on a regular basis,' said W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia, explaining his research results.

According to the study, 70 percent of husbands who attend church regularly say they are 'very happy' in their marriages, compared to only 59 percent of husbands who do not attend religious services. For women, the figures were similar, with a majority of those who attend church services reporting to be happier than those who do not"

Full story

Living Together Dangerously

Study reveals perils of cohabitation:

"Living together before marriage is a very common practice for couples in many countries. Many defend it on the basis that it enables the future husband and wife to get to know each other better.

Abundant evidence exists, however, that cohabitation is more of an obstacle rather than an advantage in preparing for marriage. Michael and Harriet McManus recently published “Living Together: Myths, Risks and Answers (Howard Books), which documents their research on the topic.

The authors, founders of the organization Marriage Savers, warn that couples who cohabit before marriage are much more likely to divorce afterward. There is a big difference, they say, between a permanent bond such as marriage and just living together in a conditional relationship."

Full story

Globally, cohabitation considered alternative to marriage

"Living together has become so common that a growing number of U.S. residents view cohabitation as an alternative to marriage, an international study indicates.

The National Marriage Project study of the United States, countries in Western Europe, Australia, Canada and New Zealand found that cohabitation globally is more common and considered an option to matrimony. The study analyzed cohabitation, marriage and divorce data from 13 countries.

Excluding the United States, the study found between 15% and 30% of couples in the countries surveyed indicated they were living together. That figure was about 10 percent in the United States."

Full story

The vocation of marriage: It's holy, but no fairy tale

A nice column on marriage from Catholic News Service:

"A friend of mine once told me that a marriage is like a braid of three strings. God is the third string, and without his presence in a marriage, the other two strings can easily split.

That's no fairy tale, unfortunately. It's not as easy as Prince Charming showing up on his valiant steed. There is no "happily ever after" without lots of work and even more prayer.

And yet, when a couple involves God and stays committed to their nuptial vows, the vocation of marriage becomes very sacred indeed."

Full column

Men prefer being solo over a bad marriage

Study concludes men are not afraid of marriage, but rather afraid of a bad marriage:

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all. This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

Full story

Discuss finances before wedding

Missouri financial planner says:

“In every study of the causes of divorce, communication and finances are at the top of the list,” Donna Taylor said. “... Maybe there’s a lack of communication about finances.

“If there’s credit card debt coming into the marriage, that probably needs to be discussed because then when they get married, and the bills start coming in, it’s a shock,” Taylor said. “It’s important to get those things out before the marriage ever happens.

“People will talk about their sex life before they talk about their money life,” Taylor said. “I don’t know why that is — it’s just a fact.”

The price of fractured families

"It is time to look at strengthening marriage as a community priority. Helping to reduce child poverty and the pain of fractured families in our communities is one of the most compassionate ways we can effectually build a strong future.

There are now 40 years of research that links fractured families to many of our most difficult social problems. The good news is that these same social trends have revealed to us what works and led to a growing consensus that marriage continues to be our most pro-child institution, and one of the best anti-poverty strategies we have."

Full editorial from The Seattle Times

What's at the center of a strong marriage?

"Todd and Deb Banchor say they are nothing special, but their marriage is.

Don’t misunderstand. The Banchors, members of St. Gerald Parish in Ralston, are not saying their own marriage is perfect. They have had ups and downs like almost every other couple. But, as far as they are concerned, the sacrament of marriage is perfect because God is part of that union.

They say they are enjoying the benefits of a healthy marriage and have worked to help others reap the blessings of a strong marriage with God at the center. One of their best tools is peer marriage ministry."

Full story from Catholic Online

Marriage conference teaches secrets of long-lasting relationships

"Simply by studying the way a married couple argues and connects with each other, researchers can now predict—with an average of 91 percent accuracy—whether their relationship will end in divorce, said Brent Atkinson, an associate professor of marriage and family therapy at Northern Illinois University in Dekalb.

Speaking at a marriage-enrichment conference April 26 at Benedictine University in Lisle, he said one of the greatest indicators of failure is judgmental, contemptuous language. Seven parishes in DuPage County sponsored the event.

During his presentation, “Breaking the Cana Code,” Atkinson explained the findings of seven long-term research studies, which identified emotional habits common in failed marriages. The studies also identified habits that foster long-lasting and happy relationships."

Full story

An update on the Bishops’ National Pastoral Marriage Initiative

"Even though it’s been more than three years since the U.S. Bishops’ National Pastoral Initiative for Marriage was approved, the initiative is hardly a household word.

That could begin to change over the next several months, as the bishops prepare to release a pastoral letter on marriage and plans are developed for a variety of pastoral resources."

Full story

Divorce costs U.S. taxpayers billions

"Divorce and out-of-wedlock childbearing cost U.S. taxpayers more than $112 billion a year, according to a study commissioned by four groups advocating more government action to bolster marriages.

Sponsors say the study is the first of its kind and hope it will prompt lawmakers to invest more money in programs aimed at strengthening marriages. Two experts not connected to the study said such programs are of dubious merit and suggested that other investments — notably job creation — would be more effective in aiding all types of needy families."

Full story

Until death do you part?

" 'There no longer seems to be much of a stigma attached to divorce; it is now seen as an unavoidable rite of passage,' concluded researcher George Barna in a recently published report.

Americans who have the highest rates of divorce, according to the study, are “downscale” adults (those who have not attended college and are earning less than $20,000 a year) at 39%; Baby Boomers (38%); non-Christian religious believers (38%); African-Americans (36%); and “people who consider themselves to be liberal on social and political matters” (37%).

Those with the lowest divorce rates are Catholics (28%); evangelicals (26%); upscale adults (college graduates earning $75,000 or more a year), at 22%; Asians (20%); and those calling themselves “conservative on social and political matters” (28%). Hispanics have a divorce rate of 31%, according to the Barna study."

With NFP, Couples Discover Deeper Partnership

"Bryan Sell and Matt Mills are husbands with similar stories, and the three men, along with their wives, now help bring to light—as NFP teachers—what Borgerding calls 'one of the best kept secrets of the Catholic Church.' "

Full story

Happy Marriage, Happy Heart

"Happily married people have lower blood pressure than unhappy married people or singles, a Brigham Young University study says.

"There seem to be some unique health benefits from marriage. It's not just being married that benefits health -- what's really the most protective of health is having a happy marriage," study author Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist who specializes in relationships and health, said in a prepared statement"

Full story

Survey reveals Mass behind marriage success

"A new survey on marriage reveals those who attend Mass every week are six times as likely as those who rarely or never attend to report that their view of marriage has been "very" informed by their Catholic faith."

Full story

Birth rate halved, parenthood delayed in children of divorce

"Girls whose parents divorce are half as likely to have children as those whose mother and father stay together, a U.K. study revealed yesterday. The finding came from research into how changes in marriage laws have affected women's lives.

"Scientists found girls who grow up in a country which allows divorce are less likely to marry and are more likely to delay having children.

"Jill Kirby, director of the centre-right think tank Centre for Policy Studies, said:

"This demonstrates how the effect of divorce and family break-up is at work through the generations. The failure of a family – and most often now it is not a married family – puts women off having children themselves. It is an example of the long-term impact of the flight from marriage. The effects will be felt not only by us now, but by future generations. This study also shows that women suffer most from the effects of divorce and family break-up."

Full story

Deacon preaching NFP finds most couples don’t know teaching on contraception

"When I mention NFP, people look at me like I am an artifact from another age,” Deacon Ken Donahue explained. “It’s one of the principles of Catholic teaching that people don’t think applies to them.”

But for many couples, including many Catholics, information about NFP is largely unknown or misunderstood."

Full story (and it's a good one!)

The Best Preparation for Marriage - And It's Not Living Together

Mike & Harriet McManus, authors of "Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers," note that two-thirds of couples marrying today are living together.

Such couples often believe a myth that they are in a "trial marriage." But they are really in a trial divorce in which they face an 85% chance of breaking up either before the marriage or afterwards.

The McManuses offer 3 tips for better marriage prep.

And more info here, too.

The media's rush to divorce the Spitzers...

With this week's news about former NY governor Eliot Spitzer, there's been a lot of media coverage about the role of Silda Spitzer, and whether she should have been at his side during the two press conferences that he held. In most, if not all, of the coverage, a lot of the commentators and "people on the street" have said they couldn't understand why a wife would do that, and that if it were them, they'd be walking out the door as quickly as possible.

Amazingly, nobody was really sticking up for Mrs. Spitzer for her role of being up there supporting her husband and family. Instead, they have offered sympathy (which is fine), but there's still a vast rush towards judgment that she's calling the lawyers as soon as this is over.

Obviously, what Mr. Spitzer is accused of doing was horrendous and shocking, and families have divorced over much less infractions. But marriages have also survived greater infractions. If this marriage is going to survive, there will have to be a lot of open communication, discussion, possible professional help, and yes, forgiveness.

If Mrs. Spitzer were to forgive her husband, how would the media treat this act? Would they be amazed at the act of forgiveness? Would they go, "Wow, there's a woman who wants to save her marriage, in the face of unbelievable odds?" Probably not, instead there would be sarcastic comments about how she was doing it for political reasons, or other such nefarious purposes.

It's been clear over the past few days about the culture that we live in today -- how easy it is for people to rush towards an immediate divorce instead of thinking about ways that couples can work on their problems. Sure, the Spitzer case in an extreme example, but it's also not hard to watch the media rush towards divorce in less-heinous cases. It just highlights how much work we have to convince people about the joys of marriage and the power of forgiveness.

The thrill of the chaste

Fed up with casual, meaningless sex in the modern dating world? Unsatisfied with today's sex-obsessed culture?

Consider an alternative, says Dawn Eden. The author of “The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On” argues in defense of chastity, providing personal details of her conversion to sexless dating.

Full story. And, Dawn Eden's blog.

Learn the Secrets to Marital and Money Bliss

A finance professional discusses typical marriage/money pitfalls and offers advice:

"I was once asked to talk about finances to a small group of engaged couples attending a marriage preparation program. As I observed the couples, I felt as though I were watching a scene from Oprah focusing on dysfunctional relationships. What I saw were three textbook examples of how money and marriage don't necessarily mix well."

Full column

Study finds divorce divides dads from kid

"Most teenagers distance themselves from their parents, but after a divorce that chasm is much wider between fathers and children."

More here

Couple married 60 years shares secrets of successful marriage

"Pat said the couple took advantage of every marriage and parenting class available, and believes those were critical in their happy marriage.

'One thing I have been so fortunate in, Tom was willing to take classes,' she said.

She also thinks their shared Catholic faith has played a role, although she gave it little thought when they first married."

Full story - and more secrets - here

U.S. Catholics and marriage: A mixed picture

"Seven in 10 U.S. Catholics describe themselves as at least "somewhat familiar" with Church teaching on marriage, and about one-third say they are "very familiar."

This is one of the statistics provided by a survey from the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate, and released by the U.S. bishops last week.

In a statement responding to the research, Archbishop Joseph Kurtz, chairman of the bishops' Subcommittee on Marriage and Family Life, said the findings paint "a mixed picture" and that "it gives us reasons to be grateful and hopeful. It also raises concerns and presents us with challenges." "

Full story

Wedding overshadows Christian marriage?

“Wedding is a day, but a marriage is a lifetime.”

Is that phrase captured by the church’s Engaged Encounter marriage preparation program a cliché or an overlooked notion?

According to an author and freelance speaker with more than three decades of experience with marriage preparation, the Catholic Church works to ensure that phrase is canon among engaged couples."

Full story from Catholic Online

The key to wedded bliss

Australian researchers say they can tell whether a marriage will last or end in divorce after asked just a few questions.

Full story is here.

Officials: Weddings lucrative for town

"Hatboro officials are taking suggestions for what to do with donations collected from about 30 marriages Mayor Norman Hawkes performed last year.

The total amount the borough has to spend isn't certain, but Hawkes guessed there's about $3,000 in the marriage fund pot to help fund community projects."

Full story from PhillyBurbs.com here

66 years of marriage: A love story

The Hartford Courant looks at one Connecticut couple.

Full story

Newlyweds need to create financial plan

"The wedding is over, but your life as a couple has just begun. As a team working together for the first time, there are many adjustments you will have to make in the first year together. Of course, you must approach the small stuff like laundry duties and dishes, but one of your main priorities should be working to establish your financial foundation."

Full story from the Journal Gazette, Fort Wayne, Ind.

A Good Fight May Keep You And Your Marriage Healthy

"A good fight with your spouse may be good for your health, research suggests. Couples in which both the husband and wife suppress their anger when one attacks the other die earlier than members of couples where one or both partners express their anger and resolve the conflict, according to preliminary results of a University of Michigan study."

Full story from Science Dailys

Marry Me

"Say yes, and you're in for more than love, children and a home. Better health and a longer life are part of the deal."

Full story from Time

Focus on Sacrament of Marriage best guarantee against divorce

Catholic Online examines an Illinois marriage-prep program.

What Makes a Man Marry?

David Zinzenko of Men's Health offers four factors.

Marriage Encounter supports Church’s “For Your Marriage”

"Strong support for the Catholic Church’s “For Your Marriage” initiative was announced today by the National Secretariat of Worldwide Marriage Encounter.

'It is our belief that vibrant, long lasting and dedicated marriages can and do exist and that married couples are seeking to make their good marriages, great marriages. The focus of the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops on supporting and helping to foster good marriage principles is an effort that we all need to get behind and encourage,' said Tony and Cathy Witzak and Fr. Emile Frishe, the WWME National Secretariat Ecclesial Team.

The new USCCB marriage initiative, which has been operating for six months, has many facets with one of the key elements being its www.foryourmarriage.org website. The website contains much useful information and tips, stories and ideas to keep marriages alive and healthy. There has also been a strong emphasis on public service announcements and other related programs."

Full story

Young women choosing careers over love

"When it comes to work versus romance, the stereotype has been that men put a premium on career goals while women focus more on family and friends. Not so, according to a study published recently in the scientific journal "Gender Issues."

Men were more willing than women to sacrifice achievement for a romantic relationship, according to the study conducted by Catherine Mosher of Duke University Medical Center and Sharon Danoff-Burg at the University of Albany."

Full story

New Year Ushers In a Decision to Divorce or Break Up for Many Couples

The start of a new year is supposed to be a time of New Year's resolutions, rejuvenation and a fresh start. For many couples, sadly enough it doesn't turn out that way.

According to the research of Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins (authors of "Should You Stay or Should You Go?"), more decisions to divorce and leave a relationship are made after January 1 than any other time of the year. These reasons include:

1. "I'll Just Get Through the Holidays" Mentality. People who are contemplating divorce don't usually want to spoil the holidays for their children and their families so they keep their feelings to themselves. Most couples avoid looking at and doing something about the problems that exist in their relationships before and during the holiday season to keep up appearances.

2. Old Fears Surface and Problems are Magnified. Holidays tend to bring up old feelings, fears, and resentments that have been buried and this all comes to a head when life returns to "normal" in January.

3. Feeling of Resignation, Confusion and "I Don't Like Any of My Choices." When there are long-standing, unresolved issues in a relationship, there are usually feelings of hopelessness and confusion. There can be the feeling of being pulled in different directions and not knowing what to do about their situation. These feelings are especially difficult to deal with when others are experiencing the hope of a new year.

Can anything be done to clarify their choices to make the best decision possible and perhaps prevent divorce or the relationship from dissolving?

Yes - and there are some common mistakes people make when considering this decision.

One of these mistakes is not being honest with themselves about what's truly happening in their relationship. They are usually making a lot of assumptions about what happened in the past and what may happen in the future, which may or may not be the reality of their situation. They do not have a clear picture of what's happening in their lives and they don't know how to get one.

Happy Marriage Soothes Job Stress

"A woman's satisfaction with her marriage may affect how quickly she bounces back from a hard day at work.

Happily married wives tend to bounce back better after a rocky day on the job, according to a new study of 60 California couples."

Full story