Secrets Of A Happy Catholic Marriage

"It seems that no matter what happens during the week, whether it includes limbs being sprained and finances being strained, hopes being dashed and china being smashed, getting to Sunday Mass is the solution...

"The beauty of placing the Catholic faith at the heart of your marriage is this: You would no more consider leaving your spouse when things go wrong than you would turn your back on Christ. And in truth, the secret of a happy marriage really is that simple."

Great column

Married couples who play together stay together

"Most couples know their marriages are happier when they make time to have fun. But often it's the fun that's first to fall by the wayside as demands pile up, especially in a trying economy when couples often work long hours or hold down more than one job.

Now research from the University of Denver supports the idea that finding moments to be together free of financial, family or other stresses — just to have fun together — is not an indulgence."

Full story

Impact of divorce lasts for decades

"The emotional and social impacts of divorce are felt for decades after a marriage breaks down, leaving a generation of older Australians vulnerable to loneliness and poor health.

A new study into the wellbeing of Australians aged between 55 and 74 - the first generation to experience divorce at high rates - found divorcees felt more socially isolated and less satisfied with life compared with married men and women."

Full story

Church Attendance Key to Marriage Success, Researcher Says

"Married couples who attend church services frequently are happier and more likely to succeed in their marriages than those who don’t attend church often or not at all, according to a recent study.

'[R]esearch suggests that not only do churchgoing husbands enjoy happier marriages but also that their wives are more likely to experience marital happiness, compared to married couples where husbands do not attend religious services on a regular basis,' said W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia, explaining his research results.

According to the study, 70 percent of husbands who attend church regularly say they are 'very happy' in their marriages, compared to only 59 percent of husbands who do not attend religious services. For women, the figures were similar, with a majority of those who attend church services reporting to be happier than those who do not"

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Globally, cohabitation considered alternative to marriage

"Living together has become so common that a growing number of U.S. residents view cohabitation as an alternative to marriage, an international study indicates.

The National Marriage Project study of the United States, countries in Western Europe, Australia, Canada and New Zealand found that cohabitation globally is more common and considered an option to matrimony. The study analyzed cohabitation, marriage and divorce data from 13 countries.

Excluding the United States, the study found between 15% and 30% of couples in the countries surveyed indicated they were living together. That figure was about 10 percent in the United States."

Full story

The vocation of marriage: It's holy, but no fairy tale

A nice column on marriage from Catholic News Service:

"A friend of mine once told me that a marriage is like a braid of three strings. God is the third string, and without his presence in a marriage, the other two strings can easily split.

That's no fairy tale, unfortunately. It's not as easy as Prince Charming showing up on his valiant steed. There is no "happily ever after" without lots of work and even more prayer.

And yet, when a couple involves God and stays committed to their nuptial vows, the vocation of marriage becomes very sacred indeed."

Full column

Men prefer being solo over a bad marriage

Study concludes men are not afraid of marriage, but rather afraid of a bad marriage:

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all. This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

Full story

Discuss finances before wedding

Missouri financial planner says:

“In every study of the causes of divorce, communication and finances are at the top of the list,” Donna Taylor said. “... Maybe there’s a lack of communication about finances.

“If there’s credit card debt coming into the marriage, that probably needs to be discussed because then when they get married, and the bills start coming in, it’s a shock,” Taylor said. “It’s important to get those things out before the marriage ever happens.

“People will talk about their sex life before they talk about their money life,” Taylor said. “I don’t know why that is — it’s just a fact.”

What's at the center of a strong marriage?

"Todd and Deb Banchor say they are nothing special, but their marriage is.

Don’t misunderstand. The Banchors, members of St. Gerald Parish in Ralston, are not saying their own marriage is perfect. They have had ups and downs like almost every other couple. But, as far as they are concerned, the sacrament of marriage is perfect because God is part of that union.

They say they are enjoying the benefits of a healthy marriage and have worked to help others reap the blessings of a strong marriage with God at the center. One of their best tools is peer marriage ministry."

Full story from Catholic Online

Marriage conference teaches secrets of long-lasting relationships

"Simply by studying the way a married couple argues and connects with each other, researchers can now predict—with an average of 91 percent accuracy—whether their relationship will end in divorce, said Brent Atkinson, an associate professor of marriage and family therapy at Northern Illinois University in Dekalb.

Speaking at a marriage-enrichment conference April 26 at Benedictine University in Lisle, he said one of the greatest indicators of failure is judgmental, contemptuous language. Seven parishes in DuPage County sponsored the event.

During his presentation, “Breaking the Cana Code,” Atkinson explained the findings of seven long-term research studies, which identified emotional habits common in failed marriages. The studies also identified habits that foster long-lasting and happy relationships."

Full story

An update on the Bishops’ National Pastoral Marriage Initiative

"Even though it’s been more than three years since the U.S. Bishops’ National Pastoral Initiative for Marriage was approved, the initiative is hardly a household word.

That could begin to change over the next several months, as the bishops prepare to release a pastoral letter on marriage and plans are developed for a variety of pastoral resources."

Full story

Birth rate halved, parenthood delayed in children of divorce

"Girls whose parents divorce are half as likely to have children as those whose mother and father stay together, a U.K. study revealed yesterday. The finding came from research into how changes in marriage laws have affected women's lives.

"Scientists found girls who grow up in a country which allows divorce are less likely to marry and are more likely to delay having children.

"Jill Kirby, director of the centre-right think tank Centre for Policy Studies, said:

"This demonstrates how the effect of divorce and family break-up is at work through the generations. The failure of a family – and most often now it is not a married family – puts women off having children themselves. It is an example of the long-term impact of the flight from marriage. The effects will be felt not only by us now, but by future generations. This study also shows that women suffer most from the effects of divorce and family break-up."

Full story

The media's rush to divorce the Spitzers...

With this week's news about former NY governor Eliot Spitzer, there's been a lot of media coverage about the role of Silda Spitzer, and whether she should have been at his side during the two press conferences that he held. In most, if not all, of the coverage, a lot of the commentators and "people on the street" have said they couldn't understand why a wife would do that, and that if it were them, they'd be walking out the door as quickly as possible.

Amazingly, nobody was really sticking up for Mrs. Spitzer for her role of being up there supporting her husband and family. Instead, they have offered sympathy (which is fine), but there's still a vast rush towards judgment that she's calling the lawyers as soon as this is over.

Obviously, what Mr. Spitzer is accused of doing was horrendous and shocking, and families have divorced over much less infractions. But marriages have also survived greater infractions. If this marriage is going to survive, there will have to be a lot of open communication, discussion, possible professional help, and yes, forgiveness.

If Mrs. Spitzer were to forgive her husband, how would the media treat this act? Would they be amazed at the act of forgiveness? Would they go, "Wow, there's a woman who wants to save her marriage, in the face of unbelievable odds?" Probably not, instead there would be sarcastic comments about how she was doing it for political reasons, or other such nefarious purposes.

It's been clear over the past few days about the culture that we live in today -- how easy it is for people to rush towards an immediate divorce instead of thinking about ways that couples can work on their problems. Sure, the Spitzer case in an extreme example, but it's also not hard to watch the media rush towards divorce in less-heinous cases. It just highlights how much work we have to convince people about the joys of marriage and the power of forgiveness.

The key to wedded bliss

Australian researchers say they can tell whether a marriage will last or end in divorce after asked just a few questions.

Full story is here.

Officials: Weddings lucrative for town

"Hatboro officials are taking suggestions for what to do with donations collected from about 30 marriages Mayor Norman Hawkes performed last year.

The total amount the borough has to spend isn't certain, but Hawkes guessed there's about $3,000 in the marriage fund pot to help fund community projects."

Full story from PhillyBurbs.com here

66 years of marriage: A love story

The Hartford Courant looks at one Connecticut couple.

Full story

Newlyweds need to create financial plan

"The wedding is over, but your life as a couple has just begun. As a team working together for the first time, there are many adjustments you will have to make in the first year together. Of course, you must approach the small stuff like laundry duties and dishes, but one of your main priorities should be working to establish your financial foundation."

Full story from the Journal Gazette, Fort Wayne, Ind.

A Good Fight May Keep You And Your Marriage Healthy

"A good fight with your spouse may be good for your health, research suggests. Couples in which both the husband and wife suppress their anger when one attacks the other die earlier than members of couples where one or both partners express their anger and resolve the conflict, according to preliminary results of a University of Michigan study."

Full story from Science Dailys

Marry Me

"Say yes, and you're in for more than love, children and a home. Better health and a longer life are part of the deal."

Full story from Time

Focus on Sacrament of Marriage best guarantee against divorce

Catholic Online examines an Illinois marriage-prep program.