Wedding bells ringing later in life

Census shows people are staying single longer:

"2006 census data released earlier this month show that people are continuing to wait longer and longer to get married for the first time. In New York state, the median age for that rite of passage now stands at 29.4 years old for men and 27.7 years old for women, making the ages here two years older than the national median.

By comparison, in the 1950s, the median age nationwide was 22 for men and 20 for women.

Reasons for this upward creep, which began about 30 years ago, are many, but most people point to cohabitation prior to marriage as the primary factor."

Full story

Silver anniversary becomes rarer milestone

"A U.S. Census Bureau study released yesterday reported that more than half of the American marriages consummated in the late 1970s failed to survive 25 years.

It was the first time since at least World War II that the Census Bureau reported that most marriages dissolved before reaching their silver anniversary."

Full story

In marital disputes, silence isn't golden

Why openness in communication is important:

Study finds that wives who don't express themselves increase risk of illness

Should marriages only last 7 years?

At least one German politician thinks they should. Gabriele Pauli, a Bavarian politician representing the Christian Social Union (CSU), says she wants marriage to expire after seven years. After that time, couples should either agree to extend their marriage or it should be automatically dissolved.

The news is causing quite a stir in Catholic circles in Germany. Pauli, 50 years old and twice-divorced, says "This is about bringing ideas into the CSU and starting a discussion."

Well, that's certainly true.

Building a successful marriage is hard work, but worth the effort

A woman reflects on important themes in her 30+ year marriage.

Column

Column: Living together is no substitute for the knot

Columnist Tina Griego of the Rocky Mountain News:

"My husband and I moved in together with the assumption we would marry one day. I saw it as something like marriage with training wheels. Once we took those wheels off, the transition would be easy. On this last matter, I was wrong.... I think five years cohabitation not only failed to prepare us more for marriage, it might have made us less prepared. It might have made the transition harder."

Full column

Retirement And Marriage

Forbes reports on a study examining transitions in retirement involving 534 married couples in their 50s, 60s or 70s who were retired or about to retire from several large businesses in upstate New York.

"Husbands and wives reported greater marital satisfaction if they retired at the same time. While men with nonworking spouses had greater marital satisfaction than those with working wives, regardless of whether the men themselves worked, those men who didn't work but had a working spouse reported the most marital conflict."

Full story

Marriage Breakdown: Expensive and Divisive

Report Shows Big Downside to Family Disintegration

Work out religious differences before marriage

Good Q&A on interfaith issues, including this funny bit:

"We know it's theoretically possible for a passionate Boston Red Sox fan to marry a passionate New York Yankees fan. It's just that we've never actually seen it happen. We don't mean to trivialize your problem, only to patiently and humbly suggest that you do not simply hope that differences that are tearing you apart now will somehow be magically resolved in the future."

Full column

Researchers Study Why Divorce Rate is Dropping

Some interesting info:

Dr. Janet Belsky, professor of psychology at Middle Tennessee State University, polled her students and results show that they are very well aware of the divorce statistics and they do not want to become part of them. They want to choose the right marriage partner and make the marriage last. One change she has seen develop over the years is that more and more of the students do put marriage as the first thing on their list of things to do. Their thoughts are shifting to getting themselves established in their chosen field as their first priority.

Full article

Pope encourages youth to change world through marriage

The Pope told 300,000 Catholic youths in Loreto, Italy, to "discover the beauty of love, not a disposable love, passenger and prisoner of an egoistic and materialistic mentality, but a deep and true love," on the eve of a pilgrimage to a shrine of the Virgin Mary on Sunday.

Pope Benedict said he believed that the "dream" of accomplishing this sort of love between a man and woman, in choosing marriage and starting a family, was "harder and harder to accomplish today".

But he called on his audience to persevere without being discouraged by the "crisis that touches our families today", such as separation and divorce."

Full story

Marriage: A Vocation to Holiness

Excellent column on marriage as a vocation. Story

The Impact of I Dos and I Don'ts at Work

A new study explores how changes in marriage, divorce and childbirth are redefining the workplace. Newer patterns of marriage - including the trend towards postponing marriage and the ability to control fertility - are causing dramatic changes to unfold in the business environment.

Story

Housework: The road to marital (and bedroom) bliss?

"Both men and women, in almost equal numbers, agree that the division of household management is a crucial component of a happy marriage, according to a study from the Washington-based Pew Research Center, released last month. 'Sharing of household chores' now ranks third in importance on a list of nine items often associated with successful marriages."

Full story

U.S. Bishops launch marriage Web site

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops recently launched a Web site designed to promote healthy marriages.

For Your Marriage can: "can aid couples of all faiths. With everything from daily marriage tips to statistics on divorce and cohabitation, this site is an up-to-date resource."

States adopt marriage ed courses

"Texas is the latest state to push marriage education, appropriating $7.5 million this year for programs aimed at reducing divorce rates and, in turn, promoting family stability and economic wellbeing. Couples who attend the Lone Star State’s optional marriage courses will be able to save the $60 they would otherwise pay for a marriage license starting September 1, 2008."

Should government be in marriage prep? Click here and read more.

The risks of cohabitation

Should couples be encouraged to have a free, no-strings-attached trial period to see whether they're compatible? On the surface, this philosophy might seem to have merit. But despite the widely held notion that this burgeoning practice improves the quality of a subsequent marriage, the evidence shows otherwise.

Click here to see what the numbers have to say.

Love and marriage … and some financial tips

Sarah Colwell of the Colorado Springs Business Journal:

"I wanted to give my brother some financial tools and pieces of advice I wish I had been given earlier in my marriage, and hopefully prevent some arguments in his marriage, at least those involving money."

Her advice and suggestions

Pornography destroys families, speaker tells men

Steve Wood, founder of the Greenville, S.C., addressing a men's conference:

"If you don't have this problem, I guarantee you that you know somebody who does," said Steve Wood, a former Protestant minister who was received into communion with the Roman Catholic Church with his wife and eight children in 1990. "This is going to take your marriage."

Wood says 70% of the calls coming into the center are women asking for help for their pornography-addicted husbands.

Red Sox legend's legendary marriage

From a Globe article on 89-year-old legendary Sox second-baseman Bobby Doerr returning to Fenway this week:

"Monica and Bobby Doerr were married for 65 years. In 1947, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. In 1967, when Bobby was a coach of the pennant-winning Impossible Dream team, Monica was forced into a wheelchair for the rest of her life. Doerr became her primary caregiver. He took her fishing. He wheeled her everywhere. Even as his own health declined, he refused to put her in a nursing home.

Bobby Doerr doesn't dwell on the World Series he didn't win or the money he didn't make. A boy of summer in the winter of life, he is sure of only one thing.

"I'll see Monica again, someday," he said. "And I take great comfort in that."